Hershey's Kisses:

the frustrating chocolate.   Wtf, individually wrapped?

WTF is WRONG with me

I have a crush

I think

Sometimes I think the stoned me and the sober me are different people.  But then I realize they both are me. And I need to embrace that.  If it's alcohol and u get abusive and belligerent that's.... well it's you.  Still you.

I Ate the Whole Can

Oh Gods of the Hunger, why dost thou curse me so??!!??

Chef Eewww YUMMY

Omg not kidding... THIS was in my bowl!!

Hi

Hi, my name is D. In my spare time I like to get high alone and paint ceramic bunnies and eat Nerds.  Well sometimes I'm buzzed, or a little of both.  But either way I kick ass.

Idea

Professional funeral giggler. Someone who goes to funerals and inappropriately laughs hilariously without stop, because the dead loved one was just that. F****** funny.

Please, out of respect for the dead, only hire me if your loved one was truly funny.

So funny

Spring

Yup.  I like the change of seasons and I have a cute soft side ok?

BRILLIANT

So when I get high...

... what the fuck was I saying?  Man it was BRILLIANT.

hypocrite

Everyone is a hypocrite in some way. And if you say you're not, you're a liar lol!!!

New Discovery

Recently, this photograph of a t-rex has been sweeping the Internet and questioning our theory that t'rex was indeed a carnivore....

Genius

I'm a genious!!!

Drugs

I took an edible, and Buddy the amazing dog is on oxy, so we should have a pretty good night here.

That Guy

Look!  I'm "that guy" at "that party!"  Hahahahaha

I did this while I was high

I fucking free-handed this bitch

with just a ruler!